Sports 4 Dorks

After Wednesday’s
post, I realize that there seem to be quite a few people who are interested
in my immediate future. I appreciate all the love and the input regarding the
decision I have to make. I have not reached any conclusions yet, but I’ll have
to decide on something very soon.   

You want to know what makes this whole
process really funny? I’ll tell you. It’s the tons of agents who try to lure me
away from my current agent with overseas offers.   

Think of the player-agent relationship
the same way as a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. When a guy is a lottery
pick, choosing an agent is like being one of the daters on MTV’s "Singled
Out." There are people coming at you from all directions, and you slowly
weed them out based on what you want.  A small-time guy like me was more
like "Love Connection." I got to choose from three potential agents
before I decided that Bill was my guy.   

In the early days it was just Bill and
me, and things were tough but we worked it out. From a D-League bench warmer to
championship-caliber sixth man to NBA summer league starter we progressed. Then
I went from training camp guy to D-League rebounding leader. Now things
have changed. Things aren’t tough at all anymore. Our relationship is good. I
do what I have to do on the court, and he helps me out along the way by placing
me in the right situations.   

As a result I’ve gone up to
"Singled Out" status. There are guys coming at me from every angle
now. I’ve got people calling me who I never gave my number to.  I’ve got
people blowin’ up my MySpace page and my Facebook. I even get AOL Instant
Messages from guys talking about jobs. I got an email from a guy who asked me
if I had an agent. I was like, "Dog, of course I do. C’mon now."
My teammate even got a phone call from HIS agent. His agent first asked how he
was and if he was ready to leave or if he was content with the D-League. Then
the guy said that he had a job for me, Rod Benson, for $50,000 a month and for
my teammate to tell me. My teammate pretended that his phone was breaking up,
just to ask this guy to repeat himself. The agent continued to ask about me. My
teammate fired him the next day. 

The situation I’m in actually reminds me
more of the girl who got hot after high school, but still stayed with the same
boyfriend she met when she was 14. Think of Jules and Seth from "Superbad" and
how much more awkward it will be for them when they get to college. Every guy
would come at Jules at the college level. That’s what’s happening to me right now.
Every grimy agent in the world thinks they can convince me to take a deal with
them.   

At the end of the day, I’m faithful to
my agent. I have no reason to leave him because I’ve always been taken care of.
There isn’t a situation overseas that he isn’t fully aware of right now. This
won’t turn into a "Parental Control" situation where a bunch of other
agents woo me into going with them and leaving Bill behind. Bill is my guy, and
he has been there from the start. Other guys can try to break us up, but it is
what it is with us right now.  

We just got done playing the Tulsa
66ers. Keith Closs told me that he was the sexiest skinny guy in the world. If
he was that sexy, agents would be fighting for his attention tonight instead of
mine. In fact, women would be MySpacing him at a higher rate, but they aren’t.
I’m as hot as they come for D-league skinny guys right now. Boom Tho is hot hot
hot! If you wanna know more, talk to my agent.